We all heard about extroverts and introverts. Some of us may also have read about ambiverts or extroverted-introvert.
One of the characteristics of an ambivert is that sometimes they enjoy the company, while at other times, they prefer being alone. Ambiverts kind of proof that introversion and extroversion are two ends of one spectrum, and that about two-thirds of the population fall somewhere in between.
If you think of yourself as an extroverted-introvert, or an ambivert, it probably means that for many years you thought of yourself as an introvert. But then started noticing that you also had extroverted qualities – like enjoying company, or being quiet talkative in certain situations.
I know a few of these people, and they are my favourite people!
They do not like small talk; do not like partying, crowds, or “socialising”, just for the sake of it. But then you will see them light up, and talk non-stop with certain people, and/or when discussing interesting, deep subjects.
I definitely fall into this group.
Connection vs Attention
Some time ago, I saw a Facebook post, that read something in the lines of – we all need connection, but instead many of us look for attention.
This post made me think deeply about the differences and similarities, of these two words, in different scenarios.
Then after a conversation with an almost pure extrovert, discussing exactly the pleasure, or otherwise of meeting people; I started thinking about the difference between interactions and connections, vis-a-vis introverts.
I definitely do not look forward to meeting random people, just for the sake of chit chat. Conversations about current events, for me, are just a waste of time.
However, some exchanges give you energy. You have the same interests, you exchange knowledge, you feel you are on the same planet with these people.
Introverts also know, that only 20% of the people out there, will fall into this category. Therefore they will not sacrifice a soothing evening at home, for a random socialising event. But they will accept an invite from, and look forward to meeting, people they know will give them that.
So maybe, introverts do not avoid company but are actually looking for true connections.
Maybe, its is not that introverts avoid company, more than they are actually looking for true connections.
Most extroverts give and take energy from most interactions. Maybe introverts, and more likely, extroverted-introverts, really give and take energy from true connections, and are simply drained from anything else.
This is maybe, why we light up in certain conversations and avoid the rest.
So rather than saying that introverts do not like company, or that extroverted-introverts sometimes want it, and other times no; maybe the whole big difference lies in the quality of the company.
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