Developing a healthy level of self-esteem has far-reaching benefits that positively impact our relationships, careers, and overall well-being.

Many challenges in relationships and feelings of being stagnant in life can stem from low self-esteem. In fact, social anxiety and other anxiety disorders often originate from a lack of self-worth.

It’s common to perceive ourselves as somehow less deserving than others who have achieved certain milestones in life. We may believe that self-worth and self-love are reserved for those who have found the ideal partner, have the perfect body, a successful career, and/or attained significant accomplishments.

We may find ourselves focusing on our real or perceived failures and lacks. We may use them to justify why we feel the way we feel.

However, self-esteem is not contingent upon external factors. It is about recognising and embracing your inherent worthiness, regardless of external possessions or achievements. It encompasses accepting yourself fully, including your failures and weaknesses,

What is your self-worth based on?

Furthermore, there are individuals who despite attaining external success, they carry an ingrained sense of being lesser than others. They have perpetually feelings of being invisible and never measuring up.

We may even consider our sense of inadequacy and difference from others as normal. It’s not uncommon to believe that these feelings are an inherent part of our identity. We may blame by our upbringing, leading us to feel helpless in changing them.

In reality the very opposite is true – simple exercises can be instrumental in strengthening and building self-esteem.

True self-esteem is an unwavering quality that remains within us, even during the most challenging times. Though it may be tested during these times; it is during adversity that self-esteem can become our anchor. A sense of self worth can enable us to rebuild and rise again, driven by our belief in our inherent right to happiness and our capacity to achieve it.

It is therefore worth worth investing your efforts and time towards in attaining a healthier sense of self-worth.

A Self-Esteem Coach can help you in initiate a shift in your thoughts and beliefs,. A self-esteem coach can equippe you with simple yet potent tools and techniques to cultivate self-esteem. You will be pleasantly surprised by the newfound energy and overall well-being that cultivating your self-esteem can bring about.

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Embracing Self-Love: Dispelling the Myth of Selfishness

How self-esteem look like

Self worth does not come
from success, wealth or
relationships. It’s what remains
when all that is stripped away.

Self-esteem is the profound understanding that you deserve to be treated with respect and that you are good enough, just as you are. It does not imply complacency or a lack of ambition for personal growth. Instead, it means accepting where you are in your journey; while acknowledging that we all have the capacity to strive for improvement.

Self-love, intricately intertwined with self-esteem, involves embracing both your strengths and weaknesses. Therefore you accept and love yourself as a whole, recognising that you are deserving of love, including and especially because of your vulnerabilities. Why so? Beacuse they are an integral part of what makes you authentically human. Being aware of your weaknesses and imperfections fosters empathy and understanding for the struggles and mistakes of others.

Being aware of our weaknesses is one thing, accepting and embracing them is another. Self-compassion, which is essential for cultivating self-esteem, can be quite challenging. It involves consciously stopping the negative self-talk and replacing it with kindness and understanding.

By practicing self-compassion, we can develop a more nurturing and supportive inner dialogue. We can start treating ourselves with the same care and empathy we would offer to a dear friend. This shift in self-talk is crucial in fostering a healthy self-esteem and a genuine acceptance of our imperfections.

Empowering Self-Esteem and Well-Being Through Personal Boundaries

At times, we may believe that we possess healthy self-esteem and self-confidence, but our choice of relationships and how we permit others to treat us may indicate otherwise. We might appear friendly and self-assured in social situations. Yet deep down, we may struggle with the need to please everyone. At times we may find it challenging to assert ourselves and say “No”.

In our personal relationships, this fear may hinder us from setting and enforcing proper boundaries. This may be due to our fear of conflict, of hurting others, seeming demanding, or facing abandonment.

However, individuals with strong self-esteem do not allow others to disregard or disrespect them. They have the courage to establish boundaries, assert their needs, and maintain self-respect in their interactions with others.

Self-Esteem Coaching

A person with healthy self-esteem knows what their needs, wants and values are and stands up for them.

As your Self-Esteem Coach, I am equipped to assist you in developing strategies and techniques to establish healthy boundaries that honour your needs and values. Through our coaching sessions, you will gain the necessary tools and insights to communicate your boundaries effectively and maintain them in various aspects of your life.

Healing Trauma: Rebuilding from Within

Trauma can have a profound impact on our self-esteem, our relationships, and overall well-being. It alters our perception of ourselves. It may affect our ability to connect with others, and can create a constant state of hyper vigilance. Repeated trauma, often stemming from toxic relationships or abusive/neglectful upbringing, can contribute to low self-esteem, difficulties in forming healthy relationships, and a compromised sense of self-identity.

It’s crucial to understand that trauma extends beyond physical violence and abuse. Verbal put-downs, emotional neglect, and the absence of positive reinforcement are forms of violence that can leave lasting scars.

Furthermore, providing food, shelter and education for your offspring used to be considered good enough parenting. But solely that is not enough. Insufficient affection, attention, and positive role models during the crucial stage of personality formation and establishing one’s relationship with the world can be perceived as a traumatic experience. The lack of these in the early years can impede the healthy development of a fully functional adult.

It’s important to acknowledge that our parents may have done their best and probably suffered similar or worse circumstances themselves. However, recognising that childhood neglect can impact emotional regulation and identity formation sheds light on our current responses and challenges.

Trauma -Informed Coaching

While life coaching differs from psychotherapy, in that it focuses primarily in creating positive changes in the present, whereas psychotherapy often delves deeper into exploring historical factors.

A trauma-informed life coach, however can still help you understand how you may have experienced trauma, and how it has shaped you. This understanding can help you foster self-compassion and together you can start your journey of healing in a different way. After helping you understand the pattern of violence or lack of supportive environment you have suffered, I will be able to provide you with the tools and techniques to start healing the trauma, as well as reduce its effect on your present life, and reclaim your well-being.

For this reason if you know that you suffer from c-ptsd, or suspect you have experienced a difficult childhood, or a toxic relationship, that may be impacting your well-being, a trauma-informed life coach may be just the answer.

I am currently doing both face-to-face and online self esteem coaching Contact me here for an appointment.